


Pistachio Green

by huzix



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, God I suck at this, M/M, i don't know what happened sorry, wisdom teeth extraction aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 03:44:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7151690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huzix/pseuds/huzix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OriginalShipping: "Could you be any louder?"<br/>In which the author doesn't actually incorporate the prompt quote into the fic. Sue me.<br/>But in all seriousness, tags say it all. Laughing gas high + ice cream mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pistachio Green

**Author's Note:**

  * For [croixmeridies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/croixmeridies/gifts).



Green helps a stumbling, wobbly Red into the front passenger seat. He fastens the seat belt for him after watching the drowsy boy miss the buckle more than once. When he lifts his head, Red is dead asleep against the back of the chair. Green can’t help but grin a little at the other’s open, drooling mouth, especially with the cotton sticks shoved into the cavity for support or something. He shuts the car door gently, going around to the driver seat.

He switches on the radio because he can’t drive in silence, but soon finds himself talking to fill in the quietness anyway. As per usual.

“Man, you know the new apprentice I took up? That Ethan boy or something? He’s hopeless. Can’t even train properly in my gym without flushing at some of the guy trainers I’ve got around. Can you imagine that? What a _gay_.” He chuckles to himself, fondly remembering how he too, used to flush at guy trainers at the gyms that he challenged. Just something about the setting, maybe. About it being a gym and all.

“You never had that weird effect on me though, you know. Isn’t that kinda weird? After all, you’re the only guy who I can never, ever beat.” He laughs. “God, I’m so glad that you’re asleep because this is turning real sappy.”

Red stirs a little, makes some guttural, gagging noises, then stills again.

“Don’t choke on the fucking cotton sticks, you moron. Imagine the headlines, ‘Former Kanto champion dies choking on cotton after wisdom teeth removal’. Man, it’s going to blast.” He finds in his pockets a crumbled ball of tissue paper. At the next red light stop, he gently cleans up the slobber over the other’s chin, soaking up the spit trailing down his neck. “Gross. What are you? A dog? The paparazzi are going to love this.”

He leaves the tissue on the boy’s lap and starts the car again at the green light.

“I bought you ice cream yesterday. It’s in the fridge. Your mom told me you like cold stuff after dental shenanigans—it’s your favorite flavor too, pistachio chocolate chip. I bet you didn’t see it because you never help out with chores at home. Lazy asshole.”

Green jumps at the hand weakly clasping on his. He nearly loses grip on the steering wheel and barely swerves to avoid ramming the car into a stop sign.

“Whaathidu thayyy?” Red’s eyes are barely open, but they are undoubtedly cast towards Green.

“What the fuck, you scared me.” He parks the car into the garage then opens the door to go to Red’s side.

“Thath’s not whath you thaid.”

“Are you _whining_ , Red?”

Green stops trying to wrestle Red’s seat belt to get a better look at the boy. He recalls telling the dentist not to use that much laughing gas because Red specifically requested that, but apparently its effect still hit the boy full on. Red squirms a little under the seat belt, trying to wriggle under it.

“Why are you noth letthing me out Greeeeen?”

“Stop being a baby.” He swoops down and unlocks the buckle. Red nuzzles against his neck, causing a surprised yelp. “Fuck, if you’re going to be this clingy forever, we’re breaking up.”

Green doesn’t even bother letting Red _try_ to get to his feet. He heaves the limp boy onto his back, carrying him into the house. Red’s body slumps onto the couch in the living room and Green prays that he will fall back asleep and not be all high when he wakes up again.

“Green…ithe creaaaaam,” Red giggles. “I heard you in the car.”

Green sighs in the kitchen, pushing aside the cutting board to make space on the counter. He grabs the tub of ice cream tucked away in the freezer (just in case Red decided to make his own food for once yesterday) and scoops the green goop into a cup. He’s foraging for the sprinkles when Red dumps himself onto Green, leaning against him and shoving him right off balance.

“Why ithn’t it in a cooooooone. I thon’t eat ithe cream in cupth.”

“Stop complaining you nitpicky brat,” Green groans. He helps the boy back up to his feet and half lifts, half pushes him back onto the couch. “Now wait here quietly.”

“I wanth chocolathe drithles on the ithe cream thoo,” Red yells in the most fucked up, slurred voice Green has ever had the honor to hear. “With natha the coco! And those things that thquirth outh juithe when you bithe intho them.”

“I’ll have to buy those. So unless you feel like waiting with your melting ice cream, shut up and eat this.” He shoves the cup into Red’s weak hands. “Oh wait, lemme guess, you can’t even use your fingers to pick up the goddamn spoon.”

“I’m huuuungry.”

“Shhh, you’re so fucking loud!”

“Feeth meeeeeee.”

Green pinches the cotton sticks and carefully dislodges it. The dentist said to leave it for an hour…fuck it, 45 minutes will have to do.

“I can’th theel my mouuuuuth.”

“God, that’s it, I’m breaking up with you.” Green places a spoonful of dessert into the writhing boy’s mouth. “Shhhh.”

Red may have started sobbing and Green may have gotten pistachio cream all over himself.       

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Sorry Wythcath I know I said this was going to be mute!Red but. But this was. Irresistible. Might have been motivated by a viral video a while back. Also this is shit I’m sorry my friend hit me on the head with a softball. Not that it wouldn’t have been shit anyway lmao. Hope you liked it!!


End file.
